Did Jesus know he was God?

Did Jesus know he was God? It's not a question I've given a lot of thought to. These days, I'm more occupied with the more basic questions as to the existence of God at all. But reading Catholic Q&A by John J. Dietzen last night, this question really struck me. Probably one day in Grade 2, it was one of the questions I plagued my poor mother with. "But did he, Mum? Even when he was a kid? Even when he was a baby? Or did he figure it out? Did Mary know he was God? Did she tell him?" Childhood faith is so true, so sure, so taken-for-granted. Of course there is a God. Of course Jesus was God. And a man. But did Jesus know he was God? That's the question of a faithful child, secure in her faith and eager to know more.

Jesus was both God and man. This is one of the mysteries of our faith. It is also one of the reasons why atheist philosopher Kai Nelson believes the Christian God concept to be so incomprehensible as to be meaningless. If something is self-contradictory, Nelson would argue, it could not possibly be true. God is infinite, humanity is not. Jesus is supposed to be both God and man, not a hybrid of each. He is not half-man, half-God, but fully both. Fully God. And fully human.

If he were just God in a man's body, he would be perfect, free from temptation, unable to sin. His struggles would have meant nothing, his sacrifice would not have been redemptive for us. But he was tempted. He could have sinned. He was man, with all the same temptations that we have.

If he were just a man with God's powers to do miracles, he would not have been God. God had to sacrifice Himself, in the form of His son, in order to redeem us. If he were only a man with God’s powers, he would not have been the sacrificial lamb of God. He had to be God for his sacrifice to take on its power of redemption.

Christian faith is based on the concept that he was both God and man. It means that he experienced all of the same things we do. He brought God closer to us. He brought God into the world of man (and woman). He experienced all of the problems, temptations, and doubt that we experience. And he overcame these, as the most perfect example of sainthood, an example for us to follow.

And when I think about this question, of whether or not Jesus knew he was God, I must remember that Jesus was subject to all of the same temptations and doubts that I am. I think, therefore, that Jesus must have at sometimes known that he was God, and that he must have doubted it at times too.

Mary and Joseph must have talked to him about the circumstances surrounding his birth. But remarkable as they were, I’m not sure that they knew that he was God. If Jesus was as human as the rest of us (and not just God in a man’s body), then he must not have been born knowing of his own divinity. A baby just wouldn’t have this kind of cognition. So he must have learned it. The Fifth Joyful Mystery of the rosary tells us that Jesus was separated from his parents at the Passover feast in Jerusalem. “And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions" (Luke 2:46 - KJV). This implies that he did not know everything, since he was not preaching to them, but listening. “And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" (Luke 2:49 - KJV). Perhaps the divine nature of Jesus knew that he was God, yet the human nature of Jesus did not.

"And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man" (Luke 2:52 – KJV). Jesus could not have known everything. He must have learned, just as every other human does. Can you imagine what an inner struggle it must have been to have your divine side telling you that you were God, while your human side had to fight the normal human doubts?

This makes Jesus seem very knowable to me. If he had doubts as I have doubts, how much more difficult must they have been to overcome. Because not only would he have doubted whether or not God existed, but he would have doubted whether or not he was part of that God. How much easier it would have been for him to follow his doubts instead of choosing the path of faith. What an example of faith for the rest of us.

I thought this was such a striking thought. Thinking about Jesus and his humanity in this way, thinking about his doubts, made me feel so much closer to him. What a merciful God ours is, to have made Himself one of us, to put himself through everything that we go through in this world, and to suffer what he did, so that we might be redeemed.